What I Hate About Being a Professional Woman With a Parent With Alzheimer's

No one would choose it...
seeing your parent losing their memory, getting more and more confused...
Alzheimer's moves in and reasoning and thinking moves out...

Those times when I was to take her to the doctor's and she was convinced that it was on a different day and would be waiting for me...calling me again and again, leaving me messages that she was waiting for me to get there....sigh..

Mom was always so precise with her punctuality...kept an accurate calendar and followed it precisely. Experiencing her frustration with her confusion was so painful.

I hate seeing Mom losing her once professional brain.


This is a photo of Mom just a few months before her Alzheimer's diagnosis three years ago.


And when I couldn't remember something, I was convinced I was losing my professional brain also.
With Alzheimer's in the family, was I next?
I started to think I was headed down that road right along with her!

I even made an appointment with a neurologist...for ME....to see what he thought about my condition. He took me through some cognitive tests and informed me I scored higher than anyone else had scored...told me that it was the stress of the situation with my mom that was causing me to forget things. Having this Alzheimer's support made a huge difference for me in relaxing about what I'd been feeling.

He reassured me that when Alzheimer's comes along at an advanced age...after 80...that it is not as likely to be an inherited condition. It is early-onset Alzheimer's that is passed on from generation to generation.

I hate that I sometimes have problems focusing on my work. It's easy to let concerns and anxiety about what's coming next cloud my clarity. It takes conscious effort of setting clear intentions and categorizing time segments.

I hate leaving Mom each time I visit her, wondering if she'll know me the next time I see her.

I hate not being able to share my latest projects with Mom.

I hate seeing so many of Mom's friends getting very frail and dying.

I hate seeing Mom's eyes looking so lost and far away.

I hate losing my Mom.

In the moment with Mom...

Mom felt cold....My warm skin felt good to her. Time to get her out in the sunshine.

Mom has always loved to be outside. Gardening, golfing, walking.

Lying in her bed in the Alzheimer's section of the Life Care Center where she lives is not where she would have ever expected to be.

When Mom saw her friends and even her sister withering away from the ravages of Alzheimer's, she would say, "Don't ever let me be like that!"

So today was a day to take a "walk" in the sun. After inquiring about the location of the wheel chair Hospice provided for her so that I could take her on walks and no one being able to locate it, they found a chair we could borrow and we headed outside... a bit of a project to get Mom up, shoes on, and maneuvered into the wheel chair. Most of the time Mom is able to use a walker for the very short distance from her room to the dining room. She does needs help getting up and started walking.

Mom still enjoys the beauty of the roses....Not sure just how clearly she can see them. Her macular degeneration has robbed her of good vision. Maybe it's just the color....I had her touch the petals...soft and smooth.

I love that Mom is still happy to see me. She doesn't say much any more...and some days she says nothing during the entire visit. With Alzheimer's, communication skills decline more and more.

I am grateful that she still does appreciate that I am there for her.

Yes, I cherish being in the moment with Mom...loving the beauty of roses.

You mean crossword puzzles aren't enough?

It takes more than crossword puzzles to keep a healthy brain!

Combine Physical and Mental

Exercise We've all heard that mental exercises exercising memory and problem solving can help to keep our brains healthy and vibrant.

What researchers have found out is that physical exercise not only is good for the heart and general circulation, but also contributes significantly to keeping the brain young.

As professional service providers dealing with challenges involving people as well as data, we need that brain power to perform our work effectively.

Human Studies Came After Studies With Rodents

After earlier studies on rodents showing that those animals that spent a lot of time running in exercise wheels had better brains than the sedentary rodents, studies were begun on humans.

Less Brain-Tissue Shrinkage

Scientist measured maximal oxygen uptake (a gauge of aerobic fitness) in 55 subjects during walking and treadmill tests. They used subjects with fitness levels from sedentary to those in peak-performance fitness. The physically fit subjects had less age-related brain-tissue shrinkage than the inactive subjects.

MRI Aids In Research

With the help of MRI's (magnetic resonance imaging), the researchers saw that the tissues affected in the brain that are crucial to memory, learning, and carrying out ideas in the mind were very different in the various subjects. (frontal, temporal, and parietal regions)

Decline Can Start In Middle Age

These abilities are the ones that start to decline as early as middle age, particularly in new situations. Studies have shown that increased physical activity in middle age can help to prevent or delay the onset of diseases like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of senile dementia, in which there is a marked decline in brain function and memory.

Researchers found that combining strength training with aerobic exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes had the greatest impact on cognitive function. (University of Illinois)

School Children Not Getting Enough Exercise

What concerns me is how the brains of the computer and video game generation will be affected by the lack of physical exercise. It is estimated that nearly half of young people ages 12 to 21 are not doing vigorous physical activity regularly. Less than one fourth of children are getting at least half an hour of any type of daily physical activity in school. School children spend an average of 4.8 hours per day on the computer, watching TV, or playing video games.


Increased Productivity

Increasing exercise for all ages would be a great benefit for all of us. Healthy brains increase productivity and full engagement in whatever we are doing. Combining physical activity with memory exercises gives the best results for a healthy brain.

Next Steps

What are you doing now to improve the blood flow and oxygen delivery to your brain?

Deciding on what type of exercise you would enjoy and DOING it on a regular basis will determine your short and long term thinking skills.