Five Ways To Destroy An Important Discussion

Of course you want to have a positive outcome to an important discussion!
But sometimes it just doesn't happen and you're not sure why.

Let's look at five possible ways you may have been jeopardizing the success of a conversation. Each of these can have a huge impact on how the communication will develop.

CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT AT THE LAST MINUTE

What better way is there to show that you don't value the meeting you've scheduled?

Setting a time and keeping to it AND being right on time shows the importance you have placed on the discussion.

TALK MORE THAN YOU LISTEN

You may feel as though you have so much wisdom that you just have to share it all! The fact is that your listening will make all the difference in knowing how the situation could be improved. By your intent listening you are able to hear the nuances that may not have been so obvious and you'll know what needs to be said to be resolve a conflict or have a positive influence.

AVOID TALKING ABOUT ANY FEELINGS

Sure it may be a business meeting, but we are all human beings and the feelings that are present can make a huge difference in how productive a company can be. When there are concerns that are not being addressed, there can be an energy drain and less work can be accomplished. So take the time to inquire about feelings and listen carefully to what is being said and avoid reacting defensively to what you hear.

ANSWER EVERY CALL THAT COMES IN DURING YOUR MEETING

Ouch! Having a conversation interrupted by phones ringing AND your answering the calls is so disrespectful of the other person in the discussion. The interruption can also break the flow of thoughts and good ideas can be lost. Turn your cell phone off and forward your phone or turn off the ringer if possible. If there are any calls the do come in, ignore them and let them go to voice mail.

DON'T WORRY IF YOU RUN OUT OF TIME

Yes, you do need to be concerned if you run out of time and don't come to closure. Running out of time during a discussion and not determining the next most important step means that the time and energy expended to have the meeting may have been wasted. It is really important to allow time for winding down from the discussion. With both people working together to determine the next steps, it creates a strong forward moving direction. Set intentions for what both of you would like to see happen and what needs to be handled first.

If these five fatal flaws can be avoided, you will be guaranteed to have more satisfying and productive discussions. This can result in a better relationship, increased productivity, and employee retention.

If you'd like to have more positive outcomes from your important discussions, perhaps you could benefit from working with a business coach. Visit http://www.exuberantproductivity.com to find out more about coaching and access resources and research that may be helpful in resolving the sticky situations in your life. Suzanne Holman, MAEd is your Exuberant Productivity Coach and can be reached at suzanne@suzanneholman.com.

* 2007 Suzanne Holman, MAEd and Exuberant Productivity.Com

Difficult Conversation Needed To Resolve An Issue? Six Questions To Prepare You For The Talk

I just heard an amusing story that illustrates how a lack of communication can create some real problems.

A photographer for CNN was assigned to cover southern California's wildfires last year. He wanted pictures of the heroic work the firefighters were doing as they battled the blazes. When the photographer arrived on the scene, he realized that the smoke was so thick it would seriously impede, or even make impossible, his getting good photographs from the ground level. He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take photos from the air.

His request was approved and he used his cell phone to call the local county airport to charter a flight. He was told a single engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go".

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and roared down the runway. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the fires on the hillsides."

"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm a photographer for CNN," he responded. "And I need to get some close-up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me, is you're NOT my flight instructor???"

If you want to avoid getting yourself into a similar situation, it’s important to be aware of what needs to be discussed!

Before you can have an effective conversation to resolve an important issue, it’s essential that you clarify exactly what the issue is and all your concerns about it. Issues come up in all aspects of our lives: strategic planning, employees, career planning, marital problems, relationships, or children.

Strategic plans at work may have looked good on paper, but implementation is just not happening as expected. Employees may be making mistakes and not creating the kind of progress that is necessary. There could be indiscretions showing up with employees that must be addressed.

Even though a job is paying well, it may not be one that you can imagine doing long term and that issue needs to be discussed with one’s spouse. Children may be off track from good performance in school and into self-defeating behaviors that need to be addressed.

The more honest you can be with yourself about the issues, the more ready you will be to bring up the subjects for thorough discussion. Here are six important questions to prepare you for a productive conversation:

1. What is the most pressing issue that needs to be resolved?
2. What exactly is going on right now?
3. How is this issue currently impacting me?
4. If things stay as they are, what’s likely to happen as time goes on?
5. How have I personally contributed to the problem?
6. With a positive resolution, what enjoyable results can we expect?

Actually taking the time to write down your answers to these questions is a great way to get focused for an extremely productive discussion. Without a clear focus, it is easy to get off track, place blame on the other person, and leave the discussion without resolution.

Working with a coach can really be a support to getting yourself focused for any difficult conversation. Visit http://www.exuberantproductivity.com/ to find out more about coaching and access resources and research that may be helpful in resolving the sticky situations in your life. Suzanne Holman, MAEd is your Exuberant Productivity Coach and can be reached at suzanne@suzanneholman.com.